Telling People

Monday, 16th June 2025

I had spent the weekend talking about what I was going through at a BBQ with some of Mark’s friends - one of which has recently had a double mastectomy I found out. 

On the Sunday I spent the afternoon with my family (dad, sister, brother and his girlfriend - mum was away painting in Tuscany). 

My sister asked the question, had I considered getting the whole boob removed so I didn’t have the risk of it coming back, and the answer was I actually hadn’t thought of this at all.

It was never mentioned in the appointment with the consultant and I was so elated with the fact I wouldn’t need a full mastectomy/reconstruction like last time I hadn’t really thought of the implications of only taking a bit of the breast tissue away. 

As soon as I started to think about it, I realised this would make sense. 

I’ve coped so well since the last time because I genuinely never believed it would come back, now I have the knowledge that it can. I don't want the next 15-30 years worrying it will come back and get me a 3rd time.

I need to speak to the consultant at my follow up appointment (scheduled for 19th June) to find out what my options are. 

As I drove into work this morning I felt urged to talk about what I was going through with my clients. 

I am a pilates instructor and studio owner and have over 220 clients that come to our classes. Some have been coming to classes with me for over 12 years now. 

I am not one to keep things hidden and have always been very open about my history with my clients so it didn’t feel right not sharing what I was dealing with behind the scenes. 

The first thing I did was sent a text to my instructors, a couple of them were already in the loop but there were still a few that had no idea.

There were three classes I was due to teach that morning. I realised as we were about to start the first class that I couldn’t tell them before the class as it would totally affect the atmosphere and ruin their experience. 

So I held it together through the whole class (just), my voice was a bit wobbly at the start. But at the end of the session when relaxation was over and people were about to clear their bits away i told them I had some news to share.

I got upset as I told them as I could see their emotions reflected back at me - many of my clients have had their own experiences that they could relate to, and most knew of my previous history.

Everyone was so amazing and said the right things, some gave me hugs, others shared what they had been through, and I was really pleased that I had made the decision to share.

The next couple of classes I repeated the process, taught the class as if nothing was going on, and at the end of the session gave them my news. 

It got easier the second and third time of saying it out loud, and almost therapeutic for me to talk about it with people.

My concern about still not having told Amber at this point was getting bigger - she was sitting her final GCSE exam this morning so my plan was to have a chat with her this afternoon. 

I made a few more phone calls on the way back from work to Mark’s mum, sister and sister-in-law.

Amber was out celebrating the end of exams with her friends, so telling her would have to wait another day - I was going to be out all evening following the CT scan appointment.

The CT scan itself was relatively straight forward - apart from me not realising that if I’d have worn clothes with no metal I could have stayed fully dressed (I thought I’d have a gown as standard so I was in jeans and had an underwired bra on). The receptionist actually said to me - you haven’t come very prepared! Which I thought was a bit rude as I was extremely well prepared with my kindle, headphones, glasses, a drink and I was on time in the right place.

I hadn’t been told not to wear clothing with metal in just not to eat for 2 hours and to drink at least a litre of water in the hour before the scan. So how I was supposed to know I’ve no idea!

They scanned my chest, thorax and pelvis and an hour and a quarter later I was back in my car heading off to my Entrepreneur Circle meeting in St Albans. 

As I was on a bit of a roll telling people about what was going on I decided I would share my news as a success at the meeting - a success because I have caught it early and it is totally treatable.

The people at the meeting were wonderful - especially some of them were there for the first time and a complete stranger was telling them she’d just found out she has Breast Cancer for the second time! Like I said, I’m not very good at keeping things in.