The Initial Appointment - False Hope

Tuesday, 20th May 2025

Today was already scheduled to be a rather frantic day. I had a 121 first thing, coaching calls in the morning and early afternoon, and was due to go into London in the evening to see Oliver the musical with my Mum, Dad and Amber (my 16 year old daughter).

It was a bit of a palaver as Amber is in the middle of her GCSEs so I hadn’t told her about any of this, as it seemed pointless giving her anything to worry about that potentially might not even be anything.

This meant the logistics of getting to London were a lot more tricky.

We were due to get the train at 5pm from Bishops Stortford (a 25 minute drive from our house). 

My hospital appointment was at 2:30pm in Welwyn Garden City, with no clear idea of how long the appointment would take. 

Amber was finishing her exam at 2:15pm in Buntingford. 

And my parents live in Stevenage. 

To add to the nightmare, my dad had spent the weekend in Lister Hospital on IV antibiotics due to an infection in his knee, as of this morning we still weren’t 100% sure if he was going to be out of the hospital and able to come to London at all.

Mark drove me to the appointment so I didn’t have my car which meant if I got the train from Welwyn I wouldn’t have a vehicle to get me home at the end of the night.

We had decided between us that my mum (or dad if he was out of hospital) would collect Amber from school, take her home to get changed, then bring her back to Stevenage with them to travel into London. I would meet them in London if I was out of my appointment with enough time to spare.

I couldn’t tell Amber why I wasn’t able to travel with her so she was not best pleased when she found out she only had 5 minutes to get ready to go out in London.

She actually had a complete panic attack and was on the phone to me wailing while the consultant was trying to examine me - but obviously she didn’t know that’s where I was - Lying never pays!

When I first sat down with the consultant I broke down, keeping all the worry in was finally over and I could finally let it out.

After examining me, the consultant didn’t seem too worried, she described the lump as smooth, round and movable - all signs of a ‘good lump’ she said. 

I was booked in to have an ultrasound “just to be sure” for the following week.

My fears were assuaged and I floated out of the clinic feeling so relieved. 

I managed to get home in time to catch the train with Amber, dad went back home having had a totally stressful and unnecessary trip to Buntingford after being only out of hospital himself for a couple of hours and all was good again.

We had a great evening at the theatre and I tried not to think about how different I’d have been feeling if the outcome of today’s appointment had been different.